Quarter finals

Uruguay 1 - 1 Ghana aet (Uruguay 4 - 2 penalties)
Holland 2 - 1 Brazil
Germany 4 - 0 Argentina
Spain 1 - 0 Paraguay

Plans for coherent blogging of the quarter finals were rather scuppered on Friday night when my neighbour Sean knocked on my door and asked me if I fancied a beer at about 5:30. I did fancy a beer, then I fancied another one, then I realised the landlord was firing up the barbecue and they'd be showing the football when it came on in a couple of hours, and my evening plan seemed to emerge quite naturally from the circumstances.

Thus the late appearance of this post, you see. Saturday wasn't the most energised of days. And Sunday was my birthday. So I'm covering the quarter finals in this merged and truncated format.

It may have been the booze, but Uruguay v Ghana was one of the best games of the tournament. Two great goals, extra time and some spectacular cheating. What more could you possibly want?

Ghana got the first, on the stroke of halftime. Sulley Muntari got the ball about forty yards out, and just hit it. Most of the time when someone at this World Cup has done that with the Jabulani ball it's gone sailing well over the bar or halfway to the corner flag, Jabulani being the Xhosa word for flies through the air like Hansie Cronje's plane didn't. Muntari, though, managed to put all those failed efforts in context with one sweet shot, curling away from the unsighted Muslera and in.

Muntari having subverted the World Cup form for the long range shot, Forlan decided to do the same for the free kick. His effort cleared the wall and crashed in, wrong footing Kingson on the way. He'd made the classic keeper's error of moving just before the kick was taken, an understandable urge but one which so often leads to a goal when the attacker happens to choose the opposite side to the one the keeper expects.

As I said, it may have been the booze, but it was a great game. Everyone watching was perfectly happy when full time came, because it guaranteed us another half hour of drinking and watching. I can't give you a lot of detail, I'm afraid. I didn't take my notebook to the pub, and if I had it would mainly have said I fucking love football, it's the best game and people who don't like it are just cunts, rather than anything more coolly analytical, so you'll have to settle for a rather broader brushstroke than I normally use.

In fact I spent most of extra time talking to the woman stood next to me at the bar. Her boy has been signed up as an apprentice for Rovers, and she was worried that he might be corrupted by the superstar life style. I reassured her, and I can reassure you, that there's absolutely no question of the glamour of Bristol Rovers corrupting anyone. If there was a version of Big Brother shown on Dave, at three in the morning every other Wednesday, the people choosing the housemates would pose a greater threat to their young charges' sense of proportion. Parents up and down the land are despearate to reassure agents and talent scouts that rumours of their boy spending time as a Rovers apprentice are entirely unfounded.

No, I wasn't trying to chat her up. She had a husband in tow. I have to say, though, it's a little dispiriting to realise that someone can have a son old enough to be an apprentice and still be unattainably young from my point of view.

The killer moment in the game came right at the end of extra time. From a Ghana corner, Adiyiah's shot was blocked by Suarez on the line. It came back to him, he headed it where it came from, and Suarez blocked it again. This time, though, he used his arm. He was sent off, and Gyan took the penalty. If he'd scored from the penalty, there wouldn't have been penalties. Because his penalty hit the bar and went over, there had to be penalties. Clear?

He took the first Ghana penalty himself. He scored. Like Yakubu for Nigeria, you couldn't but admire his guts. Also like Yakubu for Nigeria, it didn't change a goddam thing. Mensah and Adiyiah missed, Uruguay won the shootout 4-2, and on they go.

As you may imagine, there's been no little discussion of this. Suarez, who misses the semifinal, didn't entirely helped matters by cheering Gyan's penalty miss as he walked off the pitch, and when he said his hand was now the new hand of God he achieved the remarkable feat of making himself unwelcome in Africa, England and Diego Maradonna's house all at the same time.

Even in those parts of the world Suarez could safely visit, there is a general sense that an injustice was done, and that a little humility on the part of Uruguay wouldn't go amiss. Ghana would have been the first African country to reach a World Cup semifinal had Suarez not deliberately handled the ball on the line. It has been said that keeping the ball out by any means is instinctive for a footballer, which is fair enough, but you really ought to eat some humble pie afterwards.

There also seems to be a strong argument for introducing a penalty goal, like the penalty try in rugby. Under this rule, if a player commits a blatant penalty offence in such a way that a definite goal is prevented, by handball, pushing an attacker over as he goes to tap a ball over the line, or whatever, then a goal should be given.

Uruguay now have to play the semifinal without Suarez, but apparently if they should win that game Suarez would be available for the final again. He could easily end up scoring the most unpopular World Cup final winning goal ever.

They play Holland, who beat Brazil in a thrilling game. A few days ago I said this

We're seeing a new, efficient Holland, without the flamboyancy, haircuts or public spats of yesteryear. I like what I'm seeing. Mind you, they've got Brazil next.

They haven't got Brazil next any more. They've got a semifinal against a Uruguay side who have lost their best striker.

It was Brazil's own fault, they threw it away quite casually. They started so well, with Robinho scoring twice in two minutes. The first one was disallowed for offside, but the second one was fine.

It was a freak goal that changed things. Sjneider's lofted cross came quite naturally through to Cesar in goal. He was slightly impeded by Melo, but not enough to justify what happened. He just completely missed the direction of the ball, and punched the empty air just to the left of its flight path instead. It hit the top of Melo's head and went in. Initially it was given as a Melo own goal, but after the game FIFA awarded it to Sjneider instead. This seems only fair, as the ball would have gone in anyway if it Melo's head hadn't been there, the crucial factor in the attribution of goals.

It seemed to throw Brazil. They've always been equal parts butterfly and bee, but sometimes they've got a bit of a glass jaw to go with it. This was one of those days. Sjneider's headed winner came from a perfectly straightforward corner from Robben, flicked on by Kuyt and knocked in without a serious challenge. Soon after Melo was sent off for stamping on Robben (I've always said watching Rooney is just like watching Brazil), and Brazil ended their World Cup on something of a whimper.

I don't think any of us expected that to happen, and I don't think any of us expected Germany to steamroller Argentina like they steamrollered Australia and England. I mean, Cahill and Terry are one thing, but this was the team of Messi and Maradonna. Their uncharacteristic loss to Serbia aside, no-one has looked vaguely like stopping them.

Klose, meanwhile, has scored 14 World Cup goals in his career. This puts him equal on Gert Muller, and one behind Brazilian Ronaldo in the all time list. He's 32, so this is probably his last chance to get to the top. He's also in the running for the Golden Boot, the highest number of goals in this tournament. He won this in 2006 with five, and no-one has ever won it two tournaments in a row.

They got started quickly in this one. Mueller got his head on a Schweinsteiger free kick from the left and deflected the ball ever so slightly. I think Romero in goal was prepared to either hurl himself across the goal after a proper header or stay right where he was if Mueller missed it. The slight deflection caught him out. It hit his right leg and bounced in, and Germany were one nil up before I'd so much as had a sip of my tea.

Like England, Argentina had plenty of pressure, but it didn't matter this time either. Germany scored a second when Mueller, lying on the floor, was able to flip a ball through to Podolski. He found Klose unmarked in front of an empty net, and Klose, no doubt remembering the Yakubu miss against South Korea, had the calmness to control it first before tapping in.

Schweinsteiger had his moment next, running right through a bedraggled and shell shocked Argentine defence to knock it back for Friedrich, who made no mistake. Klose got a fourth just before the end, and that was that.

Ein, zwei, drei, the Germans go marching on, said Gary Lineker, remaining mysteriously unsacked. Why xenophobia against Germans gets a free pass at the BBC I don't know, but it does. Dutch footballing legend Clarence Seedorf did his level best to show a more cultured and urbane face to the world than the company he found himself in, although he did accidentally undermine his dignified avoidance of national stereotypes by saying how hard it was to break through the German wall. Use a pickaxe is my advice, Clarence.

Lineker was right about one thing, they do go marching on. Although given the joyfulness and panache of their play, we might more accurately characterise their style of movement as a sashay.

The fourth quarter final, Spain v Paraguay, was a tale of posts and penalties. The first half was pretty dull, but there was more than enough material in five minutes of the second half to fill a post. Follow the details, the details are important. I'm afraid the referee isn't about to cover himself in glory.

It started on 59 minutes. Paraguay had a corner, Pique pulled on Cardozo's arm like a child demanding ice cream as the ball swung into the box, and a penalty was given. Pique got a yellow card, and Cardozo took the penalty. It was a poor penalty, Casillas saved it and held on to it, and the game carried on. Thus far, no problem.

A minute later at the other end, Villa got to a ball into the Paraguayan penalty area just before Alcaraz, who pushed him in the back. It was a definite penalty, which was given, but Alcaraz only got a yellow. This was hard to understand, as it was clearly a goal-scoring opportunity for Villa, so if it was a foul it should have been a straight red.

No matter, at least Spain have a penalty. Up steps Alonso, and he tucks it away calmly enough. Except that the referee decides it has to be taken again, for encroachment. This time Villar saves, and the rebound comes out to Fabregas. He tries to go round Villar, who blatantly trips him. No penalty given. The ball comes to Ramos, but his shot is cleared off the line by Da Silva.

All clear? Not quite. Replays show that there was encroachment on all three penalties, and that more Spanish players encroached the Paraguayan penalty miss, saved by Casillas, than encroached Alsonso's first, successful kick.

So the referee has made three game changing mistakes in five minutes. First he missed the encroachment on the first penalty (or mistakenly gave it for the second, depending on the level of tolerance you choose to apply to encroachment). Then he gave Alcaraz a yellow rather than a red. Then he missed the Fabregas trip. And we laughed at Graham Poll four years ago.

After the penalties, the posts. There were three of those as well. In the 82nd minute, Iniesta broke through to the edge of the Paraguayan box, and laid the ball off to Pedro. Pedro's shot hits the left hand post, and comes back to Villa. He controls, steadies himself (it's amazing how the top players know to the nearest tenth of a second exactly how long they have to do this) and shoots. The ball hits the right hand post, runs along the goal line behind Da Silva, hits the left hand post and rolls in.

Poor Da Silva. He'd kept out Ramos after the penalty save, and his position on the goal line was ideal, but the ball pinged one side of him, behind him, and in on the other side. His face as it did this was a comedy classic from the silent era - he looks right, he looks left, he looks bemused, he looks disconsolate. It would have won Buster Keaton an Oscar.

They were unlucky, Paraguay. They had the ball in the net in the first half, but Valdez's goal was disallowed because Cardozo was offside. He'd risen for the cross, hadn't touched it but had got near enough to it to be interfering with play. If he'd left it, the goal would have stood.

They nearly scored again right at the end. Barrios, on for Caceres, had a shot which the normally reliable Casillas spilled. Santa Cruz beat him to the ball as it rolled across the box, but Casillas made himself big and Cruz's shot pinged off him and away. On such margins are these things resolved. Spain go on, Paraguay go home.

So that's the semi final line up.

Holland v
Uruguay and
Germany v
Spain

which spells out a message, from the World Cup to all of us. HUGS, says the World Cup, as it prepares to take its leave. Hugs to you too, World Cup. If I could enter a stasis chamber until your blessed return, I surely would.

The next one is in Brazil, in 2014. South American teams will hope to use it to improve on their performance this time, which rather flattered to deceive. From a position of complete dominance, no South American country has earned an honest semifinal place. Only Uruguay survive, courtesy of Suarez and Gyan's penalty miss.

And there's a real chance of a new name on the trophy. Germany have won before, obviously, but Spain and Holland haven't. If they win they get a final against each other, with a new winner guaranteed. Uruguay, surprisingly, are three time winners, in 1934, 1938 and 1950. This makes them the only team with more years of hurt than England, so if they win England go home crowned champions of something, after all.

Ghana v USA

Ghana 2 - 1 USA (after extra time)
Boateng 5 Donovan (pen) 62
Gyan 93

The whole stadium was thrilled by this one, except the red white and blue bits. Africa have survived in the competition.

Boateng's goal came from the first meaningful attack of the game. He picked it up two yards inside the American half after Clark dallied and lost the ball in a tackle, and just ran at the goal and kicked it in. You felt the US defence might have had more of an opinion about it, but they clearly felt it was an internal matter for the Ghanaians to resolve themselves, and chose to stand aside.

Perhaps they were confused by the opposition names. There were two Mensahs, for instance, John and Jonathan. The name may be popular in Ghana because of its historical association with John Mensah Sarbah, an early nationalist leader. There are also two Boatengs, although one of them plays for Germany - Jerome, his half brother. And then there's Amoah, Asamoah and Asamoah Gyan. So maybe the US team were having difficulty working out exactly who they were supposed to pick up, or maybe they were just a bit slow out of the blocks.

They rallied, not for the first time this tournament. They'd come back from an early goal against England, and from two down against Slovenia. Against Algeria, an injury time goal saw them through.

And they're ranked 14th in the world, as against Ghana's 32nd. Granted, America and Mexico tend to acquire rankings above their skills because they play so many easy games against small Caribbean islands in the CONCACAF qualification rounds, but they're still a grownup team whose players play in the top European sides. Except Jay Demerit, who plays for Watford, but even he's thinking of higher things, we hear. Although to be honest, if I was an American called Demerit, I'd insist it was pronounced Demerit, not Demerit.

Their manager Bob Bradley is top notch as well, and he's always prepared to make the hard calls. After half an hour he took off Clark and brought on Edu. There was a touching moment when he took time out to give Clark a hug, and whisper consoling words in his ear. It didn't seem to do much for Clark, but as managers always say in these situations, who wants a player that's happy to be taken off?

Their best players, as so often in the past, were Dempsey and Donovan. Dempsey found Findley alone in the box, and Kingson had to make the save. Jim Beglin reminded us that Dempsey's pass came off the same left foot that he used to score against Robert Green, and to be fair we've no grounds for claiming it was a different one. Although that particular shot was a powder puff effort that the keeper was unlucky with, as they are sometimes, and hardly something to boast about.

There was a similar chance at the other end, as Asamoah Not Gyan pounced on a moment of indecision from Demerit and had his shot well saved, and then it was half time. The camera lingered on the strange sight of Bill Clinton and Mick Jagger watching the game together, surely the most powerful dirty old men at the tournament. Somewhere in the world Jerry Hall and Monica Lewinsky were realising how much they had in common. You can't always get what you want, said the commentator about the state of the game, but I couldn't help thinking about Clinton's sticky fingers. He seemed to know a lot about the game, Clinton, or maybe he's just a cocksure little twat. Perhaps next time they could mike him up, then we'd know.

Bradley repeated his trick of using Feilhaber as a second half supersub, and he was unlucky to have his shot saved at point-blank range, after Ghana had failed to cut out a cross and Altidore had flicked it on to him. it was the Dempsey Donovan partnership that got them back on level terms, though.

Dempsey burst through some rather lazy Ghanaian defending, and into the box. Jonathan Mensah brought him down, and Donovan took the penalty. It went in off the post, Donovan breathed a sigh of relief and the momentum shifted to the US.

For a while it was mainly Kingson in goal that kept Ghana in it. First he went in feet first and got the ball just ahead of Altidore, carried it through the challenge and cleared on the other side of him. Then he saved from Bradley at close range. He got lucky though when Altidore rode a Mensah challenge in the box, tumbled and from a prone position shot just wide.

Extra time, and Ghana sorted it early. Three minutes in, Gyan scored a goal really very much like Boateng's at the start of the game, just running in and shooting, although this time it went over Howard rather than in at the near post. It took the heart out of the Yanks, whose most meaningful chance for the rest of the game was a hook shot from Demerit in the last minute, that the keeper watched sail a foot over the bar.

So relief for the local fans, and the quarter finals will have one side from Africa. More accurately, sub-Saharan Africa, as the fate of Algeria seems to have met with widespread indifference. I wonder why.

But a relief, anyway. Tomorrow, England.

Group D - final games

Germany 1 - 0 Ghana
Ozil 60

Australia 2 - 1 Serbia
Cahill 69 Pantelic 84
Holman 73

There's an advantage to playing in group D rather than group C. England didn't know what their result implied for the round of 16, but Germany knew a win gave them England, while Ghana had to face the much harder prospect of the USA. If Defoe's chance after the break had gone in (or Rooney's, or Lampard's), both teams would have faced the mathematical conundrum of trying to come second.

Oh they'll say otherwise, they'll say the usual things about all teams being decent teams at this stage, having to beat what's in front of you, and so on. But you've all watched England and the USA. Who would you want to play?

Australia, meanwhile, were just hoping Ghana would beat Germany. As things turned out, their initial catastrophic four nil loss to Germany gave them a goal difference they were never going to recover from. Nice to see them and New Zealand going home with some dignity, though, in New Zealand's case without even the dismal prospect of a transoceanic flight in the company of Harry Kewell.

And there's a fortunate side effect to the Australian victory, which is that one African country goes through. In a tight group, a Serbian equaliser would have given them equal points with Ghana, equal goal difference but one more goal scored, which would have put them through. They had two chances in injury time, and missed both of them.

At this stage the calculation is what I enjoy most, to be honest. Every time someone scores, or doesn't, there's an immediate tangible consequence. The USA's last minute goal against Algeria left two million Slovenes sad, and three hundred million Americans watching the basketball anyway. They probably think it's a bit peculiar running the World Cup while the NBA finals are on.

If the main story of the night is constant arithmetic, the other one is chances missed. Serbia and Ghana both had opportunities to put the game away in the first half. Serbia will be rueing theirs this morning. Ghana will be quietly pleased.

Outcomes - group D

Group D
If Ghana beat Germany they top the group. Serbia are second unless Australia beat them, in which case Australia are second.

If Germany beat Ghana and Serbia beat Australia, Germany probably top the group and Serbia are second, unless Serbia win by three goals more.

If Germany beat Ghana and Australia beat Serbia, Germany top the group and Ghana finish second unless Australia can turn round a five goal gap as it currently stands.

If Germany beat Ghana by two or more goals and Australia and Serbia draw, Germany top the group and Serbia finish second. If Germany beat Ghana by one goal, Germany top the group and Ghana and Serbia are equal on points and have the same goal difference, so it comes down to goals scored, and possibly Ghana's victory over Serbia as a tie breaker.

If Ghana and Germany draw and Australia beat Serbia, Ghana top the group and Germany are second, unless Australia win by five goals.

If Ghana and Germany draw and Serbia beat Australia, Serbia top the group and Ghana are second.

If both games are drawn, Ghana top the group and Germany are second.

Australia v Ghana

Australia 1 - 1 Ghana
Holman 11 Gyan (pen) 25

I suspected it might be the case, but after watching Australia, New Zealand and the US in the last week I now know it to be true. Whatever it is that afflicts the England team, it's not a language thing. If there was any kind of sporting handicap in having a mother tongue three parts Saxon to two parts Latin to one part Viking, their performances would surely bear witness to its enervating effect. Thanks to our New World control group for confirming our initial hypothesis, you can all go home now. Although you really don't seem to want to.

Ghana played their part as well in what was an excellent match. It was Africa's 100th game in the World Cup, and Ghana are probably the best of this year's crop.

They started awkwardly, with Addy bringing Kewell down in the box in the second minute. The referee said no penalty, I thought it was one of those fifty-fifty challenges that could go either way. To show he was just as capable of clattering into his own players, Addy collided with Kingson in goal a few minutes later as Emerton came in. They were lucky to get away with it.

They didn't get away with the next one. A Bresciano free kick bounced in front of Kingson, he parried it forwards instead of to one side and Holman pounced on it and scored. It was a shame for Kingson, who's done well this tournament, but then sometimes goalkeepers are unlucky. I may have mentioned this before.

The next ten minutes were scrappy, but Ghana recovered from their setback and began to get on top. Ayew and Gyan both had shots, and then the game turned. Ayew took the ball through two defenders on the goal line, either one of which could surely have cleared, and played it back to Jonathan Mensah (not to be confused with John Mensah of Sunderland, who is a different player altogether). Mensah's shot was blocked by Kewell on the line with his arm. He got a red card, quite deservedly despite his incomprehensible outrage, and Gyan scored from the spot.

It was the worst Australia football has to offer. Terrible defending, a misplaced sense of outrage and Harry Kewell. For the rest of the game, they dug deep and found the best in themselves.

It was all Ghana for a while, as the Aussies adjusted to life without charmlessness, and Tago and Asamoah both had chances (name confusion number 372 of this tournament: Matthew Amoah, Kwadwo Asamoah and Asamoah Gyan are three different players). Just before halftime Boateng nearly scored when he nicked the ball off Carney and shot into the corner, but Schwarzer got down quickly and just tipped it round. Bizarrely, a goal kick was given when the save was visible for all to see.

After the restart there was another period of almost constant Ghanaian pressure, with Australia defending strongly and denying them any real chances. In fact the best chance of this period actually fell to Chipperfield, rising to a Wilkshire cross and heading over when he only needed to keep it down to score.

Gyan had a couple of good chances. First he found himself in space on the right and fired in a ball that wasn't quite a shot or a cross, passing between the goal and the onrushing forwards. Then he got on a through ball from Boateng and shot just wide.

Just as Ghana thought they were running away with it, a defensive error gifted Wilkshire with the ball, but his shot in the box was well saved. The rebound fell to Kennedy, who'd come on for the goalscorer Holman, but it bounced high and he couldn't get any power behind his shot.

The camera showed a lovely slow motion of Kingson flying through the air to grab onto the ball, with Asamoah kicking empty air just behind him. These little montages are becoming the signature motif for the TV coverage of this tournament. They're presumably aimed at HD viewers, a status whose technical issues I have yet to resolve, but they work perfectly well for the rest of us.

As injury time loomed, Ghana had two gilt edged chances. Mensah got his head on a free kick and was unlucky to see it flash by the post, while Owusu-Abeyie, moving with great athleticism for a man with that many vowels to lug around, got onto a corner clearance and lashed it back in. Schwarzer pushed it round for another corner, which was wasted, and you felt that was it.

There was just time for a rather unfortunate sandwich. That's how the commentator described the midair collision between John Pantsil, who seems to have lost the I in Paintsil, Joshua Kennedy and another, unidentified Ghanaian defender. Pantsil seemed to get head butted by both of the others at once as they all rose for a ball, and ended up flat on his back and covered in blood. Which would make it rather tasteless to squeeze a sexual innuendo out of it, rather disappointingly for a game which seemed to have everything else.

At full time, Australia were more relieved than disappointed. They've not got a great chance in the third game, but they're still in with a mathematical shout of making progress, and after playing three quarters of the game with ten men that's some achievement. Do none of these guys have English grannies?

Ghana v Serbia

Ghana 1 - 0 Serbia
Gyan (pen) 84

It was the same scoreline as Slovenia v Algeria, but there was a world of difference in class. England have been very lucky with the draw, and Australia are just screwed. Sorry guys. And I wrote that before the Germany game.

For Serbia, it's actually their first World Cup match as an independent country. This may seem odd given that it's many years since the breakup of the old Yugoslavia, but Serbia competed nominally as Yugoslavia for a few years, and then as Serbia and Montenegro. In the last World Cup only one Montenegran player made the squad, and he didn't get a game, but since then there's been a political separation between the two, and now Montenegro compete separately. Which means they'll never go to the World Cup, ever, because Montenegro has about as many people as Bristol if you include all the bits round the edge, and that just isn't enough. In fact, Serbia and Montenegro is about as balanced a team as Bristol City and Rovers would be. We'd have our old goalkeeper back, thanks, and that's really about it.

It's an odd paradox, actually. Nationalists love national football teams, then they agitate to break countries down into smaller and smaller enclaves, which breaks up national football teams. I expect it makes sense to them.

There's surely an excellent argument for reunification as a general principle, just to win trophies. At some point I'm going to pick a team from a hypothetical reunified Roman Empire, just to make the point.

Back in the world where football is just a game, there was a game. Both sides started strongly. Pantelic had a shot after just ten seconds, and Annan returned the favour a minute later. Both went wide, but already we'd had more excitement than the whole of Slovenia v Algeria.

Ghana had the best of it early doors. Mensah's header went just wide, and Prince Boateng (is he an actual prince, or what?) was six inches from getting a foot on a cross that must have scored. Serbia came back with a free kick from Kolarov that just missed the top right corner. Did you know Terry Pratchett had written a book about how good he is? Wait for it. It's called the Kolarov Magic. The Kolarov Magic! Oh, please yourselves. Is this thing on?

It was about this time I noticed the Ghanaian Fulham player, John Paintsil. His name is occasionally misspelt Pantsil, but today it was given as Panstil. On the back of his own shirt. That's the kind of thing that gives you confidence in your team's administration, isn't it?

And there was a banner in the crowd, that just said SEX MACHINES. I can only think of two explanations for this. Either one of the teams has The Sex Machines as their nickname, or it's a new form of spam. There was probably another banner just out of shot that said www.buyourvibrators.com.

Actually, I can think of many explanations. Perhaps they were a James Brown tribute band offering their services. Or they could have been the halftime entertainment, waiting to go on the pitch and strip off to the sound of R Kelly. Or - actually, that's it. I promise.

The second half took a few minutes to get going, then there was a flurry of chances. Ayeu's shot and Gyan's header both went narrowly wide for Ghana, then Pantelic ran free along the goal line, but his pull back didn't go to a Serbian player. This carried on for a while, until the decisive moment of the game.

Lukovic pulled Gyan back in the 74th minute, and got a yellow card. It then turned out it was his second, and he was off. I hadn't noticed the first, but then neither had the commentator, or the BBC website. Apparently it was in the 54th minute, but whether the referee had bothered to tell anyone remains unclear

As sometimes happens, this seemed to galvanise the Serbs. Kingson made a great save to keep out a short range effort from Krasic, Vidic headed the resulting corner over and Ivanovic's shot from thirty yards out went just over. Unfortunately, Ivanovic then snatched defeat from the jaws of drawing in the 83rd minute when he blatantly handled a cross in the box, and Gyan scored from the penalty spot.

In the last few minutes it was all Ghana, and Gyan was unlucky to hit the post with Stojkovic well beaten. It must have been a nerve racking injury time for Ghanaians, but it seemed clear enough to us that the game was over.

So Ghana and Germany are leading the running in Group D. I can't say that's a surprise.

Next, Australia. Oh dear.