Goup C - final games

England 1 - 0 Slovenia
Defoe 22

USA 1 - 0 Algeria
Donovan 90 + 2


A turnaround, of a kind. Not enough to justify doing the Douglas Bader joke again, but signs of progress, or at least the desire for some.

The goal came early, fortunately. After 22 minutes Defoe got onto Milner's cross and shot home from close range, under pressure from Suler. Slovenians may have felt their keeper could have done better, but in truth it was straight at him, on him and through him faster than human reflexes can be expected to work.

And he had a good game otherwise, Handanovic. If it wasn't for him Gerrard would have scored a few minutes later, but he blocked the shot, then twisted to grab it before it crossed the line. Lampard, meanwhile, blasted over with an empty goal before him when he surely ought to have done better. It was an awkwardly bouncing ball, but he is supposed to be Frank Lampard, after all.

After the break Defoe put a great chance wide in the first minute, while Rooney was just offside as he ran onto a Gerrard pass and crossed for Defoe to tap in. Later, Terry's header from a corner was kept out by another Handanovic save, while Rooney's unchallenged shot hit the post and bounced left, the wrong way. Apparently a glaring miss, the replay showed this to be a great save as well, Handanovic's fingertips causing the two degree deflection that stopped the shot going bouncing right and in.

Terry's header was unlucky, and he did his bit at the other end too. At one point he blocked a Novakovic shot, then hurled himself across the box in a vain attempt to block Jokic's effort with his face. Fortunately perhaps, it was Johnson's foot that did the necessary, and Birsa blasted the rebound wide, but today no-one is talking about Terry as anything other than a hero.

And this is how he handles his life. In the twelve years of his senior career, he's played 391 games for Chelsea, Nottingham Forest and England. Allowing 96 minutes a game, that's an average of eight minutes and forty nine seconds a day when people actually like him. For a man like him, that may be enough.

It was a tense last ten minutes, knowing that one slip up meant elimination, but England held on. They spent most of injury time down by the Slovenian corner flag, the least nerve-racking place for them to be. They could have stayed there from the twenty third minute and it would have been fine by me. I'm full of Stoical tips for all the other countries, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

Poor Slovenia, though. After a tournament beyond expectations, they go out to a last minute US winner against Algeria. Their performance against the US alone ought to have earned them something, but you could say the same about the US, and we can't all go through.

The highlights of the USA v Algeria game are worth a watch, if you're up for it. Donovan's last minute winner gives them a game against Ghana, while England face Germany. Again. I just can't stand it.

Outcomes - group C

Group C
This is England's group, and it's complicated.

If England beat Slovenia and the USA beat Algeria, then England and the USA go through. Top place would be decided by goal difference, England needing to win by a greater margin than the USA.

If England beat Slovenia and Algeria beat the USA, then England are top and Algeria or Slovenia are second, depending on goal difference.

If Slovenia beat England and the USA beat Algeria, then Slovenia top the group and the USA finish second.

If Slovenia beat England and Algeria beat the USA, then Slovenia top the group and Algeria finish second.

If England beat Slovenia and Algeria and the USA draw, then England top the group and Slovenia come second.

If Slovenia beat England and Algeria and the USA draw, then Slovenia top the group and the USA come second.

If Slovenia and England draw and the USA beat Algeria by two goals or more, then the USA top the group and Slovenia are second. If they beat Algeria by one goal, it depends on the number of goals scored in each game.

If Slovenia and England draw and Algeria beat the USA, then Slovenia top the group and Algeria are second.

If both games are drawn, then Slovenia top the group and the USA are second unless England draw with at least three more goals than the USA do.

If both games are drawn and England draw with two more goals than the USA do, then Slovenia top the group and the second place is decided by lot. Oh yes.

England v Algeria

Oh for fuck's sake.

After the game, ITV2 had Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels on. You can understand what they were thinking. They'll all be high on testosterone and England goals, so we'll give them what they want. It's got guns, swearing, Vinnie Jones, they'll lap it up. The advertisers will love it, they can run that godawful ad with Ray Winstone in, we'll sell more Guinness than St Patrick's Day. Best laid plans, and all that.

I'd had a little drink myself. My notes start off with stuff like

Gerrard knocks in a cross, keeper looks vulnerable

then they pass through

Boudebouz strike, close but wide

and

fucking Princes, pair of TWATS

via

Matmour involved in everything, somewhere in a pub there's a blind drunk Englishman called Matt Moore who thinks he's playing

and rapidly degenerate into

STILL SHIT ...

Heskey - WTF ...

bring on Walcott, oh no you can't can you you dozy cunt

Oh look a Bristol City banner, expect they're fucking used to it

and finally

fucking Crouch [illegible squiggle] fucking Rooney stupid fucking game why am I not loved Carlsberg Carragher CUNT.

And the game? No, just no. Analysis is hard work, you have to weigh up different factors, cross reference with other games, do a spell check. You have to earn the right to be analysed.

I can provide excuses too, you know. I tried my best, it just wouldn't come together on the night, my buildup words were good but I couldn't find the final edit, and right at the last moment the keyboard bobbled. It's been terrible this tournament, the keys are bouncing uncontrollably. Boo me? How dare you.

Maybe the Slovenia game will rate some kind of assessment.

Slovenia v Algeria

Slovenia 1 - 0 Algeria
Koren 79

It's an exhausting business, blogging the World Cup during the three games a day phase. It takes six hours a day just watching the games, then you have to actually write about it. Worse, when England play you kind of want to have a little drink, and then you get even further behind. When this game kicked off I'd nearly finished South Korea v Greece, just started Argentina v Nigeria and hadn't so much as clicked on New Post for the England game. I was starting to lose my race against time.

So it was a real boon to get a game with so little to say for it. There's a few every World Cup, and this one was perfectly timed.

It was another shadow challenged stadium. There's probably nothing to be done, it's not like you can build them transparent, but maybe they could turn on the lights on the dark side or something. It's not a problem when the whole stadium's in shadow, because then they just turn down the filters on the cameras. It's when they have to balance the glare across one half of the stadium against the gloom in the other. Today the pitch was precisely bisected by dark and light, from one penalty box to the next. At least the slow march of the shadow across the centre circle offered some distraction from the quality of the football.

Algeria had the best of it early on, with a Belhadj free kick being tipped over by the well named Slovenian keeper Handanovic and Halliche heading just wide from a corner. Handanovic came for the ball, changed his mind, got caught betwixt pillar and post and was lucky not to concede. His opposite number would be less lucky later on. For Slovenia, their captain Robert Koren, lately of West Brom, had a good shot not long before the break. It was a comfortable save for Chaouchi, but their best effort of the half.

So a dreary start to the game then. Alan Hansen wanted to know why he was being forced to watch it on his birthday. At least the moany old git was being paid though. The rest of us were suffering on our own time.

One problem, as with all the games so far, was that the ball seemed too light, and kept sailing over people's heads. The designers have countered with the claim that it's the roundest World Cup ball ever, and you have to say that's a great achievement for the game. It's mostly forgotten now, but when England won the World Cup in 1966 the balls they used were almost cubic. How far we've come.

After the break Algeria brought on Ghezzal for Djebbour, only to see him get a yellow card for a tug on Suler's shirt thirty seconds later. Having got immediately booked, he then headed over from fifteen yards out ten minutes later. It must have made him a little excitable, because he deliberately handled the next cross when he couldn't quite reach it, got a second yellow and found himself sent off.

Handanovic had a bit of a rush of blood himself, passing out of the box to Suler when Ziani was far too close. Suler failed to notice him, and Ziani got in first, but luckily for Handanovic it squirmed back to him. Must have the same goalkeeping coach as Dean Gerken, plus a little luck.

Which was more than the Algerian keeper Chaouchi had. In the eightieth minute Koren had a shot from about the same distance as Clint Dempsey last night, and Chaouchi made a total hash of it, letting it squeeze under him as he dived to the left. Not as bad as Green but bad enough, was the general verdict.

A goal and a man down, Algeria might have been expected to throw caution to the wind. Instead, they managed one half chance, Bougherra lobbing over in injury time. And that was that.

So good news for everyone except Algeria. Slovenia somewhat implausibly top the group after the first two games, while England and the USA will feel they can demolish these two if they play halfway decently. Expect Algeria to come out fighting against England next Friday though.