Germany 3 Mueller 18, Jansen 56, Khedira 82
Uruguay 2 Cavani 28, Forlan 51
For some reason these playoff games are always right little crackers, and this one was no exception. If Holland had lost their semifinal, you have to wonder whether they'd have made a better show of things here than they did in the final.
Mueller got us under way in the eighteenth minute, the first to get to a Schweinsteiger shot after Muslera spilled it. If you're going to spill it, you spill it sideways. He's a bit rubbish, is Muslera.
The next fatal error was Schweinsteiger's. He got caught in midfield by Perez, and the ball came through to Cavani via the much, and highly justly, maligned Suarez. His shot beat Butt, as it were, and Uruguay were level.
Just after the break they went ahead through Forlan. His volley was hit hard, and so accurately it had time to bounce on the way to the goal, and still gave the keeper no chance. For a time, it almost seemed as if they might hang on. It would have been an unlikely result though, and again it was the keeper that threw it away.
Boateng put in a high cross which Muslera jumped for. He got there first and had the chance to punch clear, but just entirely missed the ball, not unlike Cesar for Brazil against Holland, and Jansen was able to head into an empty net. If he'd stayed on his line he'd still have been criticised for not coming for it, but at least he'd have had a chance to make the save. As things stood the ball was in the net before he hit the ground.
It was still two all, and extra time would have been fine with all of us, but Khedira took that away, connecting meaningfully with an Ozil corner after the entire Uruguay defence had tried to do the same, without success. Forlan hit the bar with a free kick in the last minute of extra time, which would have given him the Golden Boot and us extra time, but it bounced over rather than in. Three two then.
The Golden Boot, by the way, is the award for the player who scores the most goals in the tournament. Gary Lineker won it once, you know. This year, Mueller, Forlan, Villa of Spain and Sjneider of Holland all tied, with 5 goals each. Mueller got the title for having an assist as well, while Villa was second, Sjneider third and Forlan fourth on the number of minutes they played.
Forlan did get the Golden Ball, for the best player of the tournament. Dunno 'bout that.
So Germany go home third, with four wins and two losses. They scored sixteen goals, twice as many as the winners and more than anyone else, and conceded just five. I think they'd have taken it at the beginning. Uruguay have had their best tournament since 1970, yet also somehow their worst.
Next, the final.
Showing posts with label Uruguay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Uruguay. Show all posts
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Holland v Uruguay
Holland 3 Van Bronckhorst 18, Sjneider 70, Robben 73
Uruguay 2 Forlan 41, Pereira 90 + 2
For many people, the most memorable thing about Uruguay until the Ghana game was the Homer Simpson scene. You remember, the one where he spins a globe and says Hey, look, there's a country called U R Gay!
The Homer erotic Uruguay may now have been superseded in the popular imagination by the Uruguay of cheating Suarez, but they were still in a semifinal of the World Cup. The last time England did that was twenty years ago. And at the end they were one decent strike away from taking Holland to extra time.
The first half was unremarkable except for the goals, both of which came out of the blue. For Holland's opener, Van Bronckhorst hit a shot from 40 yards for no good reason. I just had time to think oh you twat for wasting the opportunity before it sailed past the keeper and into the back of the net. Oh well, shows what I know.
Forlan clearly felt he wanted to leave us with something to remember him by as well. He got onto a loose pass just before the break, feinted right, went left, got a yard or two of space and hit it. Stekelenberg got a hand on it, and really ought to have kept it out, but didn't. One one at half time.
For the first twenty minutes of the second half, the favourites looked vulnerable. They couldn't string passes together, their first touches let them down, the obvious ball eluded them. At times they seemed to playing a game of their own invention called Ever Decreasing Circles, in which each player spins through 180 degrees then plays a shorter ball than the one before, ignoring both the blue shirts swarming into his path and the orange ones begging for the ball out by the touchline.
Suddenly, like great teams do, they got it together. Their first proper chance in an age fell to Van Der Vaart, after the hitherto anonymous Van Persie had collected a long ball on the edge of the box and put him in. Muslera saved his shot well, but it ran kindly for Robben. With everyone holding their breath Robben shot wildly over, but it felt like a momentum shift was underway.
Five minutes later they scored, perhaps a little controversially. Sjneider's shot deflected slightly off the leg of Maxi Pereira, and went under Van Persie's legs and in. He was (just) offside when the shot was taken, and was clearly interfering with play even though he never actually touched it, so it shouldn't really have been allowed. No-one who saw the end of the Ghana game cared about that though.
And there was nothing controversial about the third. It was straightforward enough, but brilliantly executed. A Kuyt cross came to Robben in the box, just slightly behind him, and he leaned back just enough to get his head into the right position to angle the ball in off the far post. If the cross had come to him more easily, the defender could have got in a challenge, but as things were it was unplayable.
The game seemed dead from that point, with twenty minutes left. Tabarez took Alvaro Pereira off, replacing him with Abreu. Then he swapped Forlan for Fernandez, a strange decision which seemed like the height of folly when they got a free kick in injury time, in a position which Forlan would normally have shot from.
But Gargano didn't strike for goal. He played a surprise short ball to Maxi Pereira, who shot under the blocking defenders' legs, past the keeper and in. Suddenly, for the last two minutes, it was game on.
Uruguay knocked a couple of crosses in, and one of them nearly broke to Arevalo, but as things turned out there was nothing doing. Van Bommel was booked for dissent, but at this stage that means nothing. Uruguay slink off home, there to work up a head steam over the Sjneider goal which will for ever annoy 2.5 million people while briefly amusing five billion, and Holland are in the final.
I'll type that again. Holland. Are. In. The. Final. Told you.
Uruguay 2 Forlan 41, Pereira 90 + 2
For many people, the most memorable thing about Uruguay until the Ghana game was the Homer Simpson scene. You remember, the one where he spins a globe and says Hey, look, there's a country called U R Gay!
The Homer erotic Uruguay may now have been superseded in the popular imagination by the Uruguay of cheating Suarez, but they were still in a semifinal of the World Cup. The last time England did that was twenty years ago. And at the end they were one decent strike away from taking Holland to extra time.
The first half was unremarkable except for the goals, both of which came out of the blue. For Holland's opener, Van Bronckhorst hit a shot from 40 yards for no good reason. I just had time to think oh you twat for wasting the opportunity before it sailed past the keeper and into the back of the net. Oh well, shows what I know.
Forlan clearly felt he wanted to leave us with something to remember him by as well. He got onto a loose pass just before the break, feinted right, went left, got a yard or two of space and hit it. Stekelenberg got a hand on it, and really ought to have kept it out, but didn't. One one at half time.
For the first twenty minutes of the second half, the favourites looked vulnerable. They couldn't string passes together, their first touches let them down, the obvious ball eluded them. At times they seemed to playing a game of their own invention called Ever Decreasing Circles, in which each player spins through 180 degrees then plays a shorter ball than the one before, ignoring both the blue shirts swarming into his path and the orange ones begging for the ball out by the touchline.
Suddenly, like great teams do, they got it together. Their first proper chance in an age fell to Van Der Vaart, after the hitherto anonymous Van Persie had collected a long ball on the edge of the box and put him in. Muslera saved his shot well, but it ran kindly for Robben. With everyone holding their breath Robben shot wildly over, but it felt like a momentum shift was underway.
Five minutes later they scored, perhaps a little controversially. Sjneider's shot deflected slightly off the leg of Maxi Pereira, and went under Van Persie's legs and in. He was (just) offside when the shot was taken, and was clearly interfering with play even though he never actually touched it, so it shouldn't really have been allowed. No-one who saw the end of the Ghana game cared about that though.
And there was nothing controversial about the third. It was straightforward enough, but brilliantly executed. A Kuyt cross came to Robben in the box, just slightly behind him, and he leaned back just enough to get his head into the right position to angle the ball in off the far post. If the cross had come to him more easily, the defender could have got in a challenge, but as things were it was unplayable.
The game seemed dead from that point, with twenty minutes left. Tabarez took Alvaro Pereira off, replacing him with Abreu. Then he swapped Forlan for Fernandez, a strange decision which seemed like the height of folly when they got a free kick in injury time, in a position which Forlan would normally have shot from.
But Gargano didn't strike for goal. He played a surprise short ball to Maxi Pereira, who shot under the blocking defenders' legs, past the keeper and in. Suddenly, for the last two minutes, it was game on.
Uruguay knocked a couple of crosses in, and one of them nearly broke to Arevalo, but as things turned out there was nothing doing. Van Bommel was booked for dissent, but at this stage that means nothing. Uruguay slink off home, there to work up a head steam over the Sjneider goal which will for ever annoy 2.5 million people while briefly amusing five billion, and Holland are in the final.
I'll type that again. Holland. Are. In. The. Final. Told you.
Monday, 5 July 2010
Quarter finals
Uruguay 1 - 1 Ghana aet (Uruguay 4 - 2 penalties)
Holland 2 - 1 Brazil
Germany 4 - 0 Argentina
Spain 1 - 0 Paraguay
Plans for coherent blogging of the quarter finals were rather scuppered on Friday night when my neighbour Sean knocked on my door and asked me if I fancied a beer at about 5:30. I did fancy a beer, then I fancied another one, then I realised the landlord was firing up the barbecue and they'd be showing the football when it came on in a couple of hours, and my evening plan seemed to emerge quite naturally from the circumstances.
Thus the late appearance of this post, you see. Saturday wasn't the most energised of days. And Sunday was my birthday. So I'm covering the quarter finals in this merged and truncated format.
It may have been the booze, but Uruguay v Ghana was one of the best games of the tournament. Two great goals, extra time and some spectacular cheating. What more could you possibly want?
Ghana got the first, on the stroke of halftime. Sulley Muntari got the ball about forty yards out, and just hit it. Most of the time when someone at this World Cup has done that with the Jabulani ball it's gone sailing well over the bar or halfway to the corner flag, Jabulani being the Xhosa word for flies through the air like Hansie Cronje's plane didn't. Muntari, though, managed to put all those failed efforts in context with one sweet shot, curling away from the unsighted Muslera and in.
Muntari having subverted the World Cup form for the long range shot, Forlan decided to do the same for the free kick. His effort cleared the wall and crashed in, wrong footing Kingson on the way. He'd made the classic keeper's error of moving just before the kick was taken, an understandable urge but one which so often leads to a goal when the attacker happens to choose the opposite side to the one the keeper expects.
As I said, it may have been the booze, but it was a great game. Everyone watching was perfectly happy when full time came, because it guaranteed us another half hour of drinking and watching. I can't give you a lot of detail, I'm afraid. I didn't take my notebook to the pub, and if I had it would mainly have said I fucking love football, it's the best game and people who don't like it are just cunts, rather than anything more coolly analytical, so you'll have to settle for a rather broader brushstroke than I normally use.
In fact I spent most of extra time talking to the woman stood next to me at the bar. Her boy has been signed up as an apprentice for Rovers, and she was worried that he might be corrupted by the superstar life style. I reassured her, and I can reassure you, that there's absolutely no question of the glamour of Bristol Rovers corrupting anyone. If there was a version of Big Brother shown on Dave, at three in the morning every other Wednesday, the people choosing the housemates would pose a greater threat to their young charges' sense of proportion. Parents up and down the land are despearate to reassure agents and talent scouts that rumours of their boy spending time as a Rovers apprentice are entirely unfounded.
No, I wasn't trying to chat her up. She had a husband in tow. I have to say, though, it's a little dispiriting to realise that someone can have a son old enough to be an apprentice and still be unattainably young from my point of view.
The killer moment in the game came right at the end of extra time. From a Ghana corner, Adiyiah's shot was blocked by Suarez on the line. It came back to him, he headed it where it came from, and Suarez blocked it again. This time, though, he used his arm. He was sent off, and Gyan took the penalty. If he'd scored from the penalty, there wouldn't have been penalties. Because his penalty hit the bar and went over, there had to be penalties. Clear?
He took the first Ghana penalty himself. He scored. Like Yakubu for Nigeria, you couldn't but admire his guts. Also like Yakubu for Nigeria, it didn't change a goddam thing. Mensah and Adiyiah missed, Uruguay won the shootout 4-2, and on they go.
As you may imagine, there's been no little discussion of this. Suarez, who misses the semifinal, didn't entirely helped matters by cheering Gyan's penalty miss as he walked off the pitch, and when he said his hand was now the new hand of God he achieved the remarkable feat of making himself unwelcome in Africa, England and Diego Maradonna's house all at the same time.
Even in those parts of the world Suarez could safely visit, there is a general sense that an injustice was done, and that a little humility on the part of Uruguay wouldn't go amiss. Ghana would have been the first African country to reach a World Cup semifinal had Suarez not deliberately handled the ball on the line. It has been said that keeping the ball out by any means is instinctive for a footballer, which is fair enough, but you really ought to eat some humble pie afterwards.
There also seems to be a strong argument for introducing a penalty goal, like the penalty try in rugby. Under this rule, if a player commits a blatant penalty offence in such a way that a definite goal is prevented, by handball, pushing an attacker over as he goes to tap a ball over the line, or whatever, then a goal should be given.
Uruguay now have to play the semifinal without Suarez, but apparently if they should win that game Suarez would be available for the final again. He could easily end up scoring the most unpopular World Cup final winning goal ever.
They play Holland, who beat Brazil in a thrilling game. A few days ago I said this
They haven't got Brazil next any more. They've got a semifinal against a Uruguay side who have lost their best striker.
It was Brazil's own fault, they threw it away quite casually. They started so well, with Robinho scoring twice in two minutes. The first one was disallowed for offside, but the second one was fine.
It was a freak goal that changed things. Sjneider's lofted cross came quite naturally through to Cesar in goal. He was slightly impeded by Melo, but not enough to justify what happened. He just completely missed the direction of the ball, and punched the empty air just to the left of its flight path instead. It hit the top of Melo's head and went in. Initially it was given as a Melo own goal, but after the game FIFA awarded it to Sjneider instead. This seems only fair, as the ball would have gone in anyway if it Melo's head hadn't been there, the crucial factor in the attribution of goals.
It seemed to throw Brazil. They've always been equal parts butterfly and bee, but sometimes they've got a bit of a glass jaw to go with it. This was one of those days. Sjneider's headed winner came from a perfectly straightforward corner from Robben, flicked on by Kuyt and knocked in without a serious challenge. Soon after Melo was sent off for stamping on Robben (I've always said watching Rooney is just like watching Brazil), and Brazil ended their World Cup on something of a whimper.
I don't think any of us expected that to happen, and I don't think any of us expected Germany to steamroller Argentina like they steamrollered Australia and England. I mean, Cahill and Terry are one thing, but this was the team of Messi and Maradonna. Their uncharacteristic loss to Serbia aside, no-one has looked vaguely like stopping them.
Klose, meanwhile, has scored 14 World Cup goals in his career. This puts him equal on Gert Muller, and one behind Brazilian Ronaldo in the all time list. He's 32, so this is probably his last chance to get to the top. He's also in the running for the Golden Boot, the highest number of goals in this tournament. He won this in 2006 with five, and no-one has ever won it two tournaments in a row.
They got started quickly in this one. Mueller got his head on a Schweinsteiger free kick from the left and deflected the ball ever so slightly. I think Romero in goal was prepared to either hurl himself across the goal after a proper header or stay right where he was if Mueller missed it. The slight deflection caught him out. It hit his right leg and bounced in, and Germany were one nil up before I'd so much as had a sip of my tea.
Like England, Argentina had plenty of pressure, but it didn't matter this time either. Germany scored a second when Mueller, lying on the floor, was able to flip a ball through to Podolski. He found Klose unmarked in front of an empty net, and Klose, no doubt remembering the Yakubu miss against South Korea, had the calmness to control it first before tapping in.
Schweinsteiger had his moment next, running right through a bedraggled and shell shocked Argentine defence to knock it back for Friedrich, who made no mistake. Klose got a fourth just before the end, and that was that.
Ein, zwei, drei, the Germans go marching on, said Gary Lineker, remaining mysteriously unsacked. Why xenophobia against Germans gets a free pass at the BBC I don't know, but it does. Dutch footballing legend Clarence Seedorf did his level best to show a more cultured and urbane face to the world than the company he found himself in, although he did accidentally undermine his dignified avoidance of national stereotypes by saying how hard it was to break through the German wall. Use a pickaxe is my advice, Clarence.
Lineker was right about one thing, they do go marching on. Although given the joyfulness and panache of their play, we might more accurately characterise their style of movement as a sashay.
The fourth quarter final, Spain v Paraguay, was a tale of posts and penalties. The first half was pretty dull, but there was more than enough material in five minutes of the second half to fill a post. Follow the details, the details are important. I'm afraid the referee isn't about to cover himself in glory.
It started on 59 minutes. Paraguay had a corner, Pique pulled on Cardozo's arm like a child demanding ice cream as the ball swung into the box, and a penalty was given. Pique got a yellow card, and Cardozo took the penalty. It was a poor penalty, Casillas saved it and held on to it, and the game carried on. Thus far, no problem.
A minute later at the other end, Villa got to a ball into the Paraguayan penalty area just before Alcaraz, who pushed him in the back. It was a definite penalty, which was given, but Alcaraz only got a yellow. This was hard to understand, as it was clearly a goal-scoring opportunity for Villa, so if it was a foul it should have been a straight red.
No matter, at least Spain have a penalty. Up steps Alonso, and he tucks it away calmly enough. Except that the referee decides it has to be taken again, for encroachment. This time Villar saves, and the rebound comes out to Fabregas. He tries to go round Villar, who blatantly trips him. No penalty given. The ball comes to Ramos, but his shot is cleared off the line by Da Silva.
All clear? Not quite. Replays show that there was encroachment on all three penalties, and that more Spanish players encroached the Paraguayan penalty miss, saved by Casillas, than encroached Alsonso's first, successful kick.
So the referee has made three game changing mistakes in five minutes. First he missed the encroachment on the first penalty (or mistakenly gave it for the second, depending on the level of tolerance you choose to apply to encroachment). Then he gave Alcaraz a yellow rather than a red. Then he missed the Fabregas trip. And we laughed at Graham Poll four years ago.
After the penalties, the posts. There were three of those as well. In the 82nd minute, Iniesta broke through to the edge of the Paraguayan box, and laid the ball off to Pedro. Pedro's shot hits the left hand post, and comes back to Villa. He controls, steadies himself (it's amazing how the top players know to the nearest tenth of a second exactly how long they have to do this) and shoots. The ball hits the right hand post, runs along the goal line behind Da Silva, hits the left hand post and rolls in.
Poor Da Silva. He'd kept out Ramos after the penalty save, and his position on the goal line was ideal, but the ball pinged one side of him, behind him, and in on the other side. His face as it did this was a comedy classic from the silent era - he looks right, he looks left, he looks bemused, he looks disconsolate. It would have won Buster Keaton an Oscar.
They were unlucky, Paraguay. They had the ball in the net in the first half, but Valdez's goal was disallowed because Cardozo was offside. He'd risen for the cross, hadn't touched it but had got near enough to it to be interfering with play. If he'd left it, the goal would have stood.
They nearly scored again right at the end. Barrios, on for Caceres, had a shot which the normally reliable Casillas spilled. Santa Cruz beat him to the ball as it rolled across the box, but Casillas made himself big and Cruz's shot pinged off him and away. On such margins are these things resolved. Spain go on, Paraguay go home.
So that's the semi final line up.
Holland v
Uruguay and
Germany v
Spain
which spells out a message, from the World Cup to all of us. HUGS, says the World Cup, as it prepares to take its leave. Hugs to you too, World Cup. If I could enter a stasis chamber until your blessed return, I surely would.
The next one is in Brazil, in 2014. South American teams will hope to use it to improve on their performance this time, which rather flattered to deceive. From a position of complete dominance, no South American country has earned an honest semifinal place. Only Uruguay survive, courtesy of Suarez and Gyan's penalty miss.
And there's a real chance of a new name on the trophy. Germany have won before, obviously, but Spain and Holland haven't. If they win they get a final against each other, with a new winner guaranteed. Uruguay, surprisingly, are three time winners, in 1934, 1938 and 1950. This makes them the only team with more years of hurt than England, so if they win England go home crowned champions of something, after all.
Holland 2 - 1 Brazil
Germany 4 - 0 Argentina
Spain 1 - 0 Paraguay
Plans for coherent blogging of the quarter finals were rather scuppered on Friday night when my neighbour Sean knocked on my door and asked me if I fancied a beer at about 5:30. I did fancy a beer, then I fancied another one, then I realised the landlord was firing up the barbecue and they'd be showing the football when it came on in a couple of hours, and my evening plan seemed to emerge quite naturally from the circumstances.
Thus the late appearance of this post, you see. Saturday wasn't the most energised of days. And Sunday was my birthday. So I'm covering the quarter finals in this merged and truncated format.
It may have been the booze, but Uruguay v Ghana was one of the best games of the tournament. Two great goals, extra time and some spectacular cheating. What more could you possibly want?
Ghana got the first, on the stroke of halftime. Sulley Muntari got the ball about forty yards out, and just hit it. Most of the time when someone at this World Cup has done that with the Jabulani ball it's gone sailing well over the bar or halfway to the corner flag, Jabulani being the Xhosa word for flies through the air like Hansie Cronje's plane didn't. Muntari, though, managed to put all those failed efforts in context with one sweet shot, curling away from the unsighted Muslera and in.
Muntari having subverted the World Cup form for the long range shot, Forlan decided to do the same for the free kick. His effort cleared the wall and crashed in, wrong footing Kingson on the way. He'd made the classic keeper's error of moving just before the kick was taken, an understandable urge but one which so often leads to a goal when the attacker happens to choose the opposite side to the one the keeper expects.
As I said, it may have been the booze, but it was a great game. Everyone watching was perfectly happy when full time came, because it guaranteed us another half hour of drinking and watching. I can't give you a lot of detail, I'm afraid. I didn't take my notebook to the pub, and if I had it would mainly have said I fucking love football, it's the best game and people who don't like it are just cunts, rather than anything more coolly analytical, so you'll have to settle for a rather broader brushstroke than I normally use.
In fact I spent most of extra time talking to the woman stood next to me at the bar. Her boy has been signed up as an apprentice for Rovers, and she was worried that he might be corrupted by the superstar life style. I reassured her, and I can reassure you, that there's absolutely no question of the glamour of Bristol Rovers corrupting anyone. If there was a version of Big Brother shown on Dave, at three in the morning every other Wednesday, the people choosing the housemates would pose a greater threat to their young charges' sense of proportion. Parents up and down the land are despearate to reassure agents and talent scouts that rumours of their boy spending time as a Rovers apprentice are entirely unfounded.
No, I wasn't trying to chat her up. She had a husband in tow. I have to say, though, it's a little dispiriting to realise that someone can have a son old enough to be an apprentice and still be unattainably young from my point of view.
The killer moment in the game came right at the end of extra time. From a Ghana corner, Adiyiah's shot was blocked by Suarez on the line. It came back to him, he headed it where it came from, and Suarez blocked it again. This time, though, he used his arm. He was sent off, and Gyan took the penalty. If he'd scored from the penalty, there wouldn't have been penalties. Because his penalty hit the bar and went over, there had to be penalties. Clear?
He took the first Ghana penalty himself. He scored. Like Yakubu for Nigeria, you couldn't but admire his guts. Also like Yakubu for Nigeria, it didn't change a goddam thing. Mensah and Adiyiah missed, Uruguay won the shootout 4-2, and on they go.
As you may imagine, there's been no little discussion of this. Suarez, who misses the semifinal, didn't entirely helped matters by cheering Gyan's penalty miss as he walked off the pitch, and when he said his hand was now the new hand of God he achieved the remarkable feat of making himself unwelcome in Africa, England and Diego Maradonna's house all at the same time.
Even in those parts of the world Suarez could safely visit, there is a general sense that an injustice was done, and that a little humility on the part of Uruguay wouldn't go amiss. Ghana would have been the first African country to reach a World Cup semifinal had Suarez not deliberately handled the ball on the line. It has been said that keeping the ball out by any means is instinctive for a footballer, which is fair enough, but you really ought to eat some humble pie afterwards.
There also seems to be a strong argument for introducing a penalty goal, like the penalty try in rugby. Under this rule, if a player commits a blatant penalty offence in such a way that a definite goal is prevented, by handball, pushing an attacker over as he goes to tap a ball over the line, or whatever, then a goal should be given.
Uruguay now have to play the semifinal without Suarez, but apparently if they should win that game Suarez would be available for the final again. He could easily end up scoring the most unpopular World Cup final winning goal ever.
They play Holland, who beat Brazil in a thrilling game. A few days ago I said this
We're seeing a new, efficient Holland, without the flamboyancy, haircuts or public spats of yesteryear. I like what I'm seeing. Mind you, they've got Brazil next.
They haven't got Brazil next any more. They've got a semifinal against a Uruguay side who have lost their best striker.
It was Brazil's own fault, they threw it away quite casually. They started so well, with Robinho scoring twice in two minutes. The first one was disallowed for offside, but the second one was fine.
It was a freak goal that changed things. Sjneider's lofted cross came quite naturally through to Cesar in goal. He was slightly impeded by Melo, but not enough to justify what happened. He just completely missed the direction of the ball, and punched the empty air just to the left of its flight path instead. It hit the top of Melo's head and went in. Initially it was given as a Melo own goal, but after the game FIFA awarded it to Sjneider instead. This seems only fair, as the ball would have gone in anyway if it Melo's head hadn't been there, the crucial factor in the attribution of goals.
It seemed to throw Brazil. They've always been equal parts butterfly and bee, but sometimes they've got a bit of a glass jaw to go with it. This was one of those days. Sjneider's headed winner came from a perfectly straightforward corner from Robben, flicked on by Kuyt and knocked in without a serious challenge. Soon after Melo was sent off for stamping on Robben (I've always said watching Rooney is just like watching Brazil), and Brazil ended their World Cup on something of a whimper.
I don't think any of us expected that to happen, and I don't think any of us expected Germany to steamroller Argentina like they steamrollered Australia and England. I mean, Cahill and Terry are one thing, but this was the team of Messi and Maradonna. Their uncharacteristic loss to Serbia aside, no-one has looked vaguely like stopping them.
Klose, meanwhile, has scored 14 World Cup goals in his career. This puts him equal on Gert Muller, and one behind Brazilian Ronaldo in the all time list. He's 32, so this is probably his last chance to get to the top. He's also in the running for the Golden Boot, the highest number of goals in this tournament. He won this in 2006 with five, and no-one has ever won it two tournaments in a row.
They got started quickly in this one. Mueller got his head on a Schweinsteiger free kick from the left and deflected the ball ever so slightly. I think Romero in goal was prepared to either hurl himself across the goal after a proper header or stay right where he was if Mueller missed it. The slight deflection caught him out. It hit his right leg and bounced in, and Germany were one nil up before I'd so much as had a sip of my tea.
Like England, Argentina had plenty of pressure, but it didn't matter this time either. Germany scored a second when Mueller, lying on the floor, was able to flip a ball through to Podolski. He found Klose unmarked in front of an empty net, and Klose, no doubt remembering the Yakubu miss against South Korea, had the calmness to control it first before tapping in.
Schweinsteiger had his moment next, running right through a bedraggled and shell shocked Argentine defence to knock it back for Friedrich, who made no mistake. Klose got a fourth just before the end, and that was that.
Ein, zwei, drei, the Germans go marching on, said Gary Lineker, remaining mysteriously unsacked. Why xenophobia against Germans gets a free pass at the BBC I don't know, but it does. Dutch footballing legend Clarence Seedorf did his level best to show a more cultured and urbane face to the world than the company he found himself in, although he did accidentally undermine his dignified avoidance of national stereotypes by saying how hard it was to break through the German wall. Use a pickaxe is my advice, Clarence.
Lineker was right about one thing, they do go marching on. Although given the joyfulness and panache of their play, we might more accurately characterise their style of movement as a sashay.
The fourth quarter final, Spain v Paraguay, was a tale of posts and penalties. The first half was pretty dull, but there was more than enough material in five minutes of the second half to fill a post. Follow the details, the details are important. I'm afraid the referee isn't about to cover himself in glory.
It started on 59 minutes. Paraguay had a corner, Pique pulled on Cardozo's arm like a child demanding ice cream as the ball swung into the box, and a penalty was given. Pique got a yellow card, and Cardozo took the penalty. It was a poor penalty, Casillas saved it and held on to it, and the game carried on. Thus far, no problem.
A minute later at the other end, Villa got to a ball into the Paraguayan penalty area just before Alcaraz, who pushed him in the back. It was a definite penalty, which was given, but Alcaraz only got a yellow. This was hard to understand, as it was clearly a goal-scoring opportunity for Villa, so if it was a foul it should have been a straight red.
No matter, at least Spain have a penalty. Up steps Alonso, and he tucks it away calmly enough. Except that the referee decides it has to be taken again, for encroachment. This time Villar saves, and the rebound comes out to Fabregas. He tries to go round Villar, who blatantly trips him. No penalty given. The ball comes to Ramos, but his shot is cleared off the line by Da Silva.
All clear? Not quite. Replays show that there was encroachment on all three penalties, and that more Spanish players encroached the Paraguayan penalty miss, saved by Casillas, than encroached Alsonso's first, successful kick.
So the referee has made three game changing mistakes in five minutes. First he missed the encroachment on the first penalty (or mistakenly gave it for the second, depending on the level of tolerance you choose to apply to encroachment). Then he gave Alcaraz a yellow rather than a red. Then he missed the Fabregas trip. And we laughed at Graham Poll four years ago.
After the penalties, the posts. There were three of those as well. In the 82nd minute, Iniesta broke through to the edge of the Paraguayan box, and laid the ball off to Pedro. Pedro's shot hits the left hand post, and comes back to Villa. He controls, steadies himself (it's amazing how the top players know to the nearest tenth of a second exactly how long they have to do this) and shoots. The ball hits the right hand post, runs along the goal line behind Da Silva, hits the left hand post and rolls in.
Poor Da Silva. He'd kept out Ramos after the penalty save, and his position on the goal line was ideal, but the ball pinged one side of him, behind him, and in on the other side. His face as it did this was a comedy classic from the silent era - he looks right, he looks left, he looks bemused, he looks disconsolate. It would have won Buster Keaton an Oscar.
They were unlucky, Paraguay. They had the ball in the net in the first half, but Valdez's goal was disallowed because Cardozo was offside. He'd risen for the cross, hadn't touched it but had got near enough to it to be interfering with play. If he'd left it, the goal would have stood.
They nearly scored again right at the end. Barrios, on for Caceres, had a shot which the normally reliable Casillas spilled. Santa Cruz beat him to the ball as it rolled across the box, but Casillas made himself big and Cruz's shot pinged off him and away. On such margins are these things resolved. Spain go on, Paraguay go home.
So that's the semi final line up.
Holland v
Uruguay and
Germany v
Spain
which spells out a message, from the World Cup to all of us. HUGS, says the World Cup, as it prepares to take its leave. Hugs to you too, World Cup. If I could enter a stasis chamber until your blessed return, I surely would.
The next one is in Brazil, in 2014. South American teams will hope to use it to improve on their performance this time, which rather flattered to deceive. From a position of complete dominance, no South American country has earned an honest semifinal place. Only Uruguay survive, courtesy of Suarez and Gyan's penalty miss.
And there's a real chance of a new name on the trophy. Germany have won before, obviously, but Spain and Holland haven't. If they win they get a final against each other, with a new winner guaranteed. Uruguay, surprisingly, are three time winners, in 1934, 1938 and 1950. This makes them the only team with more years of hurt than England, so if they win England go home crowned champions of something, after all.
Saturday, 26 June 2010
Uruguay v South Korea
Uruguay 2 Suarez 8, 80
South Korea 1 Lee Chung-Yong 68
It might have gone very differently, Park Chu-Young hitting the post from a free kick five minutes in, but then Forlan put in a cross, the goalkeeper dived for it but missed it, the defence switched off because they thought he had it covered, and the less trusting Suarez followed it in and hit it into an empty net from a tight angle.
He correctly calculated that the keeper would be able to get back and block if he took the time for a controlling touch, so he just hit it first time, at precisely the right angle. It's the kind of thing that doesn't look hard, but if you try and do it yourself you'll make it maybe one time in twenty. Those moments, that's why they get the big bucks. Oh, and capitalism, that's the other reason.
The Koreans put some nice stuff together, but they kept undercutting their own efforts by poor ball control, or dallying on the ball for the extra second it took for Uruguay to close them down. Just before the break they were lucky not to give away a penalty when Suarez's shot in the box was blocked by Ki Sung-Yeung's arm. It hit him hard enough, so you could argue there was no intent, but you could also argue that if you don't want to give away a penalty you should keep your arms down, instead of cocking one of them like you've had a stroke in the middle of the funky chicken.
Korea dominated at the beginning of the second half, but you never felt they were going to score until suddenly they did. It's like that sometimes. It took the kind of goalkeeping error which tells on a keeper far more than a fumble.
The free kick came in, it bounced up high off a Uruguayan head, and Muslera dithered for a crucial second, then came for it. If he'd got there quicker and punched it clear, it would have fine. If he'd stayed on his line and left it to his defence, that would have been fine too. What he actually did was to get three quarters of the way there and flap at it ineffectually, letting Lee Chung-Yong head it home.
He hung his head in shame, but twelve minutes later Suarez spared his blushes. He stayed wide left on a corner, waited for it to come across, dinked it right and hit it round the defense and in off the post.
The Uruguayans gathered in a big happy mob, behind the press photographers. They didn't seem to mind the pelting rain, although it must have been cold. You felt that it was weighing rather more heavily on the Koreans, though.
They had one last chance to equalise, when Lee Dong-Gook got the ball unmarked in the box, but his shot was straight at the keeper. Muslera actually managed to fluff it, the ball squirming underneath and past him, but it was moving slowly and the defence was able to clear.
Almost before you were ready, that was that. South America marches on, whilst Asia is now represented only by Japan. Uruguay conceded their first goal of the competition, but they now get a quarter final against Ghana or the USA. One of those teams gets a semi-final, giving them a seven game World Cup. If it's Uruguay, Suarez becomes a good bet for highest goalscorer.
Incidentally, this is our goodbye to Korean names. I've made some effort to get them right during the tournament, and I've resisted the urge to make questionable puns, even in the case of Hung Yung-Jo. Could Oh Beom-Seok tempt me? He could not. Instead, here are some facts.
The principles of naming were laid down in the Korean Naming Laws of 1812, but since then Japanese, Chinese and Western influences have made things much more complicated. In essence, the name contains three one syllable words. The first is a family name, similar to the African clan name, the second and third is the given name. In many cases, the given name includes a syllable for the generation, so brothers and sisters will have the same first two names.
You are still legally required to choose given names from a set list of options, although modern practice is undermining this. There are a mere 250 family names, and 5,000 given names to choose from. The five most common family names are used by over half the population.
Goodbye to both Koreas, anyway. You sense unification would make them a real force in world football. Although come to that it wouldn't hurt here either.
South Korea 1 Lee Chung-Yong 68
It might have gone very differently, Park Chu-Young hitting the post from a free kick five minutes in, but then Forlan put in a cross, the goalkeeper dived for it but missed it, the defence switched off because they thought he had it covered, and the less trusting Suarez followed it in and hit it into an empty net from a tight angle.
He correctly calculated that the keeper would be able to get back and block if he took the time for a controlling touch, so he just hit it first time, at precisely the right angle. It's the kind of thing that doesn't look hard, but if you try and do it yourself you'll make it maybe one time in twenty. Those moments, that's why they get the big bucks. Oh, and capitalism, that's the other reason.
The Koreans put some nice stuff together, but they kept undercutting their own efforts by poor ball control, or dallying on the ball for the extra second it took for Uruguay to close them down. Just before the break they were lucky not to give away a penalty when Suarez's shot in the box was blocked by Ki Sung-Yeung's arm. It hit him hard enough, so you could argue there was no intent, but you could also argue that if you don't want to give away a penalty you should keep your arms down, instead of cocking one of them like you've had a stroke in the middle of the funky chicken.
Korea dominated at the beginning of the second half, but you never felt they were going to score until suddenly they did. It's like that sometimes. It took the kind of goalkeeping error which tells on a keeper far more than a fumble.
The free kick came in, it bounced up high off a Uruguayan head, and Muslera dithered for a crucial second, then came for it. If he'd got there quicker and punched it clear, it would have fine. If he'd stayed on his line and left it to his defence, that would have been fine too. What he actually did was to get three quarters of the way there and flap at it ineffectually, letting Lee Chung-Yong head it home.
He hung his head in shame, but twelve minutes later Suarez spared his blushes. He stayed wide left on a corner, waited for it to come across, dinked it right and hit it round the defense and in off the post.
The Uruguayans gathered in a big happy mob, behind the press photographers. They didn't seem to mind the pelting rain, although it must have been cold. You felt that it was weighing rather more heavily on the Koreans, though.
They had one last chance to equalise, when Lee Dong-Gook got the ball unmarked in the box, but his shot was straight at the keeper. Muslera actually managed to fluff it, the ball squirming underneath and past him, but it was moving slowly and the defence was able to clear.
Almost before you were ready, that was that. South America marches on, whilst Asia is now represented only by Japan. Uruguay conceded their first goal of the competition, but they now get a quarter final against Ghana or the USA. One of those teams gets a semi-final, giving them a seven game World Cup. If it's Uruguay, Suarez becomes a good bet for highest goalscorer.
Incidentally, this is our goodbye to Korean names. I've made some effort to get them right during the tournament, and I've resisted the urge to make questionable puns, even in the case of Hung Yung-Jo. Could Oh Beom-Seok tempt me? He could not. Instead, here are some facts.
The principles of naming were laid down in the Korean Naming Laws of 1812, but since then Japanese, Chinese and Western influences have made things much more complicated. In essence, the name contains three one syllable words. The first is a family name, similar to the African clan name, the second and third is the given name. In many cases, the given name includes a syllable for the generation, so brothers and sisters will have the same first two names.
You are still legally required to choose given names from a set list of options, although modern practice is undermining this. There are a mere 250 family names, and 5,000 given names to choose from. The five most common family names are used by over half the population.
Goodbye to both Koreas, anyway. You sense unification would make them a real force in world football. Although come to that it wouldn't hurt here either.
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Group A final games
Uruguay 1 - 0 Mexico
Suarez 43
South Africa 2 - 1 France
Khumalo 20 Malouda 70
Mphela 37
This is now Day Twelve of my new life, due in three short weeks to be my ex-life, and I'm drifting free of my moorings. I expect there's been world events, but to be honest, if they don't last ninety minutes with a change of ends in the middle I'm probably going to be hard pressed to pin them down.
A few things have popped into my Google Reader. Apparently the other PR company that run things now have made a new budget, and I heard a rumour Glastonbury was on. The earth's supply of oil is still gushing through a big hole in a Gulf, although someone's just parked outside the house, so there must be some left somewhere. Bit of a shocker though. Millions of tons of the stuff clogging up the water, inadequate safety precautions, thousands of wannabe Red Adairs trying to put a cap on it. All through the World Cup. Bastard corporate bloodsuckers, no sense of perspective at all.
When you think how focused on football I've been you might have assumed I'd have clocked on that the third round of games were starting at three o'clock, not three thirty, but no, Klutzy Klutzington here turns on the TV at three twenty five to find the France South Africa game an unsurprising twenty five minutes in.
Of the Mexico Uruguay game there is no sign. The BBC are showing that tennis thing instead. I don't mind the tennis thing in odd numbered years, but it does seem a bit cheeky to be running it now. Don't they know the World Cup is on? Surely even Cliff Richard watches the World Cup?
A brief exploration reveals that ITV has both games, on ITV1 and ITV4, and to be fair it's what they do with the Champions League, so there's good precedent. I decide to stay with France and South Africa anyway.
And a shock may be on the cards. South Africa are one nil up, with France apparently down to ten men, and while I'm still assimilating this information they score again. Tshabalaladingdong is free down the left, and puts in a cross which Diaby can only deflect to a yellow shirt. Said yellow shirt crosses anonymously, as far as the BBC website seem to care, and Mphela bundles it into the goal despite the inadequate attentions of Clichy.
A minute later it's in again, from Pienaar, but this one is given offside. As we watch in astonishment, the news comes in - a goal for Uruguay, from a Suarez header.
At half time, South Africa are only two goals behind qualification. I take the opportunity to check the highlights. It turns out that the first goal was scored from a corner, Khumalo heading home after the French keeper Lloris has come for it and missed it completely. The red card was shown to Gourcuff, for elbowing Sibaya, a decision that looks a bit harsh on the replay.
Not that Gourcuff will have minded. He'll have been happy enough to be off the pitch over an hour before the rest of the team. I don't recall the last time I saw players less keen to be in a World Cup game.
You've probably all heard the story by now. Nicolas Anelka was kicked out of the French squad after a tirade of abuse directed at manager Raymond Domenech. As a result, the entire French squad refused to train yesterday morning, and the managing director of the French Football Federation resigned in protest at that refusal. French captain Patrice Evra and the fitness coach Robert Duverne had to be separated, and following their clash Duverne threw his accreditation badge to the ground and stormed off in disgust.
Support for Anelka's character has come from ... John Terry. As a person, you won't find a better man in football, said Terry. Logically, John Terry being in football, this amounts to an admission that he's a worse man than Anelka. I truly find it impossible to arbitrate on that.
The squad, meanwhile, hoped to ensure that France regains its honour by playing well today. Domenech leaves the job after the World Cup anyway. President Sarkozy asked the sports minister Roselyn Bachelot to stay in South Africa, and she visited the players to tell them off.
Her words are given here (France stars may boycott match). I told the players they had tarnished the image of France. It is a morale disaster for French football. I told them they could no longer be heroes for our children. They have destroyed the dreams of their countrymen, their friends and supporters.
Personally I've always found that kind of talk a little theatrical, but apparently it worked on the players, as she said they applauded me and they were crying during her speech. I guess it's a language thing. Imagine it said with a French accent, and you'll probably be welling up as well.
There was some concern for a while that despite Bachelot's Joan of Arc bit some of the players might refuse to play. In the event none of them did, although the captain Patrice Evra was dropped. After the first half display of undermotivated incompetence, he must have been glad.
Well, at least the England camp isn't the worst shambles in the World Cup. And they came back a bit in the second half. It took a while, and South African hopes were raised as Mphela first hit the post, then drew a smart save from Lloris, but in the end it was the French that scored. Sagna passed to Ribery down the right, he burst into the box and laid it across to Malouda, who tucked it into an empty net.
That was how it finished, and at least South Africa had a win. France didn't, but they did have a goal, and the chance to at least leave the field with dignity. Well, a goal anyway.
That Domenech, you really have to wonder. He refused to shake Parreira's hand because the South African manager had previously said that France had cheated their way to qualification. Parreira said he couldn't remember the quote, but it's true anyway, as Henry's handball against Ireland was clearly intentional and clearly decisive. And how typical of Domenech that he should focus on that as he walked off to face the undying hatred of sixty five million lyrical existentialists.
For the home nation, an early exit, but at least some dignity. They'd won one, drawn one and lost one, a lot better than predicted, and were only eliminated on goal difference. If they'd been offered it at the start they might have taken it.
Meanwhile in the other game, the one no-one was paying much attention to, the two actual qualifiers from the group played each other. Uruguay's win puts them top of the group, while Mexico finish second and probably play Argentina. Just like in 2006. Wonder if Maxi Rodriguez will play?
Suarez 43
South Africa 2 - 1 France
Khumalo 20 Malouda 70
Mphela 37
This is now Day Twelve of my new life, due in three short weeks to be my ex-life, and I'm drifting free of my moorings. I expect there's been world events, but to be honest, if they don't last ninety minutes with a change of ends in the middle I'm probably going to be hard pressed to pin them down.
A few things have popped into my Google Reader. Apparently the other PR company that run things now have made a new budget, and I heard a rumour Glastonbury was on. The earth's supply of oil is still gushing through a big hole in a Gulf, although someone's just parked outside the house, so there must be some left somewhere. Bit of a shocker though. Millions of tons of the stuff clogging up the water, inadequate safety precautions, thousands of wannabe Red Adairs trying to put a cap on it. All through the World Cup. Bastard corporate bloodsuckers, no sense of perspective at all.
When you think how focused on football I've been you might have assumed I'd have clocked on that the third round of games were starting at three o'clock, not three thirty, but no, Klutzy Klutzington here turns on the TV at three twenty five to find the France South Africa game an unsurprising twenty five minutes in.
Of the Mexico Uruguay game there is no sign. The BBC are showing that tennis thing instead. I don't mind the tennis thing in odd numbered years, but it does seem a bit cheeky to be running it now. Don't they know the World Cup is on? Surely even Cliff Richard watches the World Cup?
A brief exploration reveals that ITV has both games, on ITV1 and ITV4, and to be fair it's what they do with the Champions League, so there's good precedent. I decide to stay with France and South Africa anyway.
And a shock may be on the cards. South Africa are one nil up, with France apparently down to ten men, and while I'm still assimilating this information they score again. Tshabalaladingdong is free down the left, and puts in a cross which Diaby can only deflect to a yellow shirt. Said yellow shirt crosses anonymously, as far as the BBC website seem to care, and Mphela bundles it into the goal despite the inadequate attentions of Clichy.
A minute later it's in again, from Pienaar, but this one is given offside. As we watch in astonishment, the news comes in - a goal for Uruguay, from a Suarez header.
At half time, South Africa are only two goals behind qualification. I take the opportunity to check the highlights. It turns out that the first goal was scored from a corner, Khumalo heading home after the French keeper Lloris has come for it and missed it completely. The red card was shown to Gourcuff, for elbowing Sibaya, a decision that looks a bit harsh on the replay.
Not that Gourcuff will have minded. He'll have been happy enough to be off the pitch over an hour before the rest of the team. I don't recall the last time I saw players less keen to be in a World Cup game.
You've probably all heard the story by now. Nicolas Anelka was kicked out of the French squad after a tirade of abuse directed at manager Raymond Domenech. As a result, the entire French squad refused to train yesterday morning, and the managing director of the French Football Federation resigned in protest at that refusal. French captain Patrice Evra and the fitness coach Robert Duverne had to be separated, and following their clash Duverne threw his accreditation badge to the ground and stormed off in disgust.
Support for Anelka's character has come from ... John Terry. As a person, you won't find a better man in football, said Terry. Logically, John Terry being in football, this amounts to an admission that he's a worse man than Anelka. I truly find it impossible to arbitrate on that.
The squad, meanwhile, hoped to ensure that France regains its honour by playing well today. Domenech leaves the job after the World Cup anyway. President Sarkozy asked the sports minister Roselyn Bachelot to stay in South Africa, and she visited the players to tell them off.
Her words are given here (France stars may boycott match). I told the players they had tarnished the image of France. It is a morale disaster for French football. I told them they could no longer be heroes for our children. They have destroyed the dreams of their countrymen, their friends and supporters.
Personally I've always found that kind of talk a little theatrical, but apparently it worked on the players, as she said they applauded me and they were crying during her speech. I guess it's a language thing. Imagine it said with a French accent, and you'll probably be welling up as well.
There was some concern for a while that despite Bachelot's Joan of Arc bit some of the players might refuse to play. In the event none of them did, although the captain Patrice Evra was dropped. After the first half display of undermotivated incompetence, he must have been glad.
Well, at least the England camp isn't the worst shambles in the World Cup. And they came back a bit in the second half. It took a while, and South African hopes were raised as Mphela first hit the post, then drew a smart save from Lloris, but in the end it was the French that scored. Sagna passed to Ribery down the right, he burst into the box and laid it across to Malouda, who tucked it into an empty net.
That was how it finished, and at least South Africa had a win. France didn't, but they did have a goal, and the chance to at least leave the field with dignity. Well, a goal anyway.
That Domenech, you really have to wonder. He refused to shake Parreira's hand because the South African manager had previously said that France had cheated their way to qualification. Parreira said he couldn't remember the quote, but it's true anyway, as Henry's handball against Ireland was clearly intentional and clearly decisive. And how typical of Domenech that he should focus on that as he walked off to face the undying hatred of sixty five million lyrical existentialists.
For the home nation, an early exit, but at least some dignity. They'd won one, drawn one and lost one, a lot better than predicted, and were only eliminated on goal difference. If they'd been offered it at the start they might have taken it.
Meanwhile in the other game, the one no-one was paying much attention to, the two actual qualifiers from the group played each other. Uruguay's win puts them top of the group, while Mexico finish second and probably play Argentina. Just like in 2006. Wonder if Maxi Rodriguez will play?
Outcomes - groups A and B
This is the most open end to the group phase that I remember from any World Cup. Only two teams are definitely through - Holland and Brazil. Only two teams are definitely eliminated - Cameroon and North Korea. By the end of today, six teams will be through and six will be out.
Group A
If Mexico and Uruguay draw, then Uruguay top the group, and Mexico are second. If either win, they top the group. If Mexico win, then France can take second place from Uruguay if they beat South Africa, and do better on goal difference. If Uruguay win, then South Africa can take second place from Mexico if they beat France, and do better on goal difference.
Both of these outcomes are less likely. Most probably, Mexico and Uruguay will progress.
Group B
Argentina are definitely through unless Greece beat them by a hatful of goals and South Korea beat Nigeria by another hatful. Nigeria are definitely out unless they beat South Korea by two goals and Argentina beat Greece.
Assuming Argentina go through in first place, South Korea join them unless Greece get more points than they do. Argentina then South Korea is the most likely result.
And if you think all that was complicated, just wait until we get to England's group.
Group A
If Mexico and Uruguay draw, then Uruguay top the group, and Mexico are second. If either win, they top the group. If Mexico win, then France can take second place from Uruguay if they beat South Africa, and do better on goal difference. If Uruguay win, then South Africa can take second place from Mexico if they beat France, and do better on goal difference.
Both of these outcomes are less likely. Most probably, Mexico and Uruguay will progress.
Group B
Argentina are definitely through unless Greece beat them by a hatful of goals and South Korea beat Nigeria by another hatful. Nigeria are definitely out unless they beat South Korea by two goals and Argentina beat Greece.
Assuming Argentina go through in first place, South Korea join them unless Greece get more points than they do. Argentina then South Korea is the most likely result.
And if you think all that was complicated, just wait until we get to England's group.
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Uruguay v South Africa
Uruguay 3 - 0 South Africa
Forlan 24, 80 (pen)
Pereira 90 + 5
This was the first game with teams we've already seen, and the seventeenth game of the World Cup in six days. It's a long old haul, the World Cup. For the first fortnight there's three games a day - six hours if you include half time and the national anthems. If you're also writing a blog post for every game, you can find yourself turning a little introspective.
I went to the shop yesterday, the first time I'd been outside for three days, and all I managed to buy was some pork pies, a ready-cooked chicken and some beer. It wasn't slobbishness, well not entirely, I've just forgotten how to deal with the world. I could calculate snacks, but not salad.
There was a big queue, which made me wonder if maybe it was Friday. Fortunately I managed to retain just enough nous not to ask. When I got in I checked my fixtures list, and it turned out it was Tuesday, not very near to Friday at all. To me it was just Day Five.
So it's probably a good thing that we've got through the first round of games. South Africa won't feel like that though. They were thoroughly outclassed in their second game, I'm afraid, by a Uruguay team that just brushed past them in the way we thought Mexico would.
The home side had the first chance, when a corner just eluded Mokwena, and we all thought it was going to be fine. If you recall, we want them to do well because we want Africa to do well, and because a successful home nation helps to build the atmosphere.
For Uruguay, Suarez played the ball to Forlan, failed to anticipate the return pass and shot wide. You could see Forlan shouting at Suarez, and you thought good, they're falling out. Tshabalala missed chances he might have done better with, but then he did that in the first game.
Reality started to dawn in the 25th minute, when Forlan's shot from distance took a cruel deflection off Mokwena, went over Khune and dropped in. At first we thought it was brilliance, but then the reply showed us it was luck. Luck, and a collective failure to close him down by the entire defence, almost any one of whom might have got near enough if they'd tried.
Forlan was Uruguay's best player, but Suarez had a great game too. A few minutes after the goal he went round Khumalo, who bluntly wasn't up to the job of staying with him, but his shot missed from a tight angle. South Africa's next attack gave Fusile the chance to knock Modise to the ground while no-one was looking. No-one except the camera, that is. Why do players expect to get away with that kind of thing when every inch of the pitch is constantly being filmed?
The next thing in my notes is Modise cross, and I expect he was, but I think I meant that he hit the ball high into the middle from the edge. Mphela got in a header, but from the edge of the box it was hardly going to be a problem, and it went hard but wide.
Modise must have been even crosser when Dikgacoi got booked for a late tackle. He'll now miss the France game, while Fusile goes unpunished. For now, anyway. Hopefully he'll miss the Mexico game when officials see the video evidence. Actually, if I just sidled up to someone in a pub, flat out assaulted them from behind for no reason and got caught on CCTV while I was doing it, I'd get arrested. Why doesn't he?
An over reaction, perhaps. I just hate it when they try to be violent secretly, if only because it makes it so much harder to write about it. Why can't they just ram their studs into each other's genitals in front of the referee, like real men? At least then we get a laugh out of it.
The second half belonged to Uruguay. On 51 minutes they had a plausible penalty appeal, when Khumalo seemed to bring Suarez down in the box. It wasn't given, but soon after Lagano had a great chance for a header. He over jumped it, somehow, and it came off his shoulder and went harmlessly wide, but Uruguay were now dominant.
South Africa had one decent chance halfway through the second half. The cross came in from the right, Mphela got his head on it just before the keeper punched it, but it came off his gloved hand and wide. South Africa didn't even get a corner for it.
Soon after that it was all over. Khune gave away a penalty when he brought down Suarez as he was about to go round him and score. Everyone on the bench tried to claim it was offside, Khune insisted he hadn't touched him, but none of it mattered, and the replay showed onside, and clear contact.
Khune was sent off, and Josephs came on to try and save the penalty. Forlan looked nervous, and it was a long enough wait before he could take it, but he put it in easily enough in the end.
If that wasn't bad enough, just before the end of injury time South Africa conceded another. All the Uruguayan playmakers were in on it. Forlan crossed to Suarez on the goal line, he chipped it perfectly over the keeper and Pareira headed it home from point blank range. Soon after, the whistle went.
Poor South Africa. To progress, they now need to beat France by at least three goals, without two of their best players. Tomorrrow France play Mexico, and the winner of that probably goes through with Uruguay. The host nation could well be the first team to be knocked out of the World Cup. We feared it, we knew it was likely, and now it's almost a certainty.
Forlan 24, 80 (pen)
Pereira 90 + 5
This was the first game with teams we've already seen, and the seventeenth game of the World Cup in six days. It's a long old haul, the World Cup. For the first fortnight there's three games a day - six hours if you include half time and the national anthems. If you're also writing a blog post for every game, you can find yourself turning a little introspective.
I went to the shop yesterday, the first time I'd been outside for three days, and all I managed to buy was some pork pies, a ready-cooked chicken and some beer. It wasn't slobbishness, well not entirely, I've just forgotten how to deal with the world. I could calculate snacks, but not salad.
There was a big queue, which made me wonder if maybe it was Friday. Fortunately I managed to retain just enough nous not to ask. When I got in I checked my fixtures list, and it turned out it was Tuesday, not very near to Friday at all. To me it was just Day Five.
So it's probably a good thing that we've got through the first round of games. South Africa won't feel like that though. They were thoroughly outclassed in their second game, I'm afraid, by a Uruguay team that just brushed past them in the way we thought Mexico would.
The home side had the first chance, when a corner just eluded Mokwena, and we all thought it was going to be fine. If you recall, we want them to do well because we want Africa to do well, and because a successful home nation helps to build the atmosphere.
For Uruguay, Suarez played the ball to Forlan, failed to anticipate the return pass and shot wide. You could see Forlan shouting at Suarez, and you thought good, they're falling out. Tshabalala missed chances he might have done better with, but then he did that in the first game.
Reality started to dawn in the 25th minute, when Forlan's shot from distance took a cruel deflection off Mokwena, went over Khune and dropped in. At first we thought it was brilliance, but then the reply showed us it was luck. Luck, and a collective failure to close him down by the entire defence, almost any one of whom might have got near enough if they'd tried.
Forlan was Uruguay's best player, but Suarez had a great game too. A few minutes after the goal he went round Khumalo, who bluntly wasn't up to the job of staying with him, but his shot missed from a tight angle. South Africa's next attack gave Fusile the chance to knock Modise to the ground while no-one was looking. No-one except the camera, that is. Why do players expect to get away with that kind of thing when every inch of the pitch is constantly being filmed?
The next thing in my notes is Modise cross, and I expect he was, but I think I meant that he hit the ball high into the middle from the edge. Mphela got in a header, but from the edge of the box it was hardly going to be a problem, and it went hard but wide.
Modise must have been even crosser when Dikgacoi got booked for a late tackle. He'll now miss the France game, while Fusile goes unpunished. For now, anyway. Hopefully he'll miss the Mexico game when officials see the video evidence. Actually, if I just sidled up to someone in a pub, flat out assaulted them from behind for no reason and got caught on CCTV while I was doing it, I'd get arrested. Why doesn't he?
An over reaction, perhaps. I just hate it when they try to be violent secretly, if only because it makes it so much harder to write about it. Why can't they just ram their studs into each other's genitals in front of the referee, like real men? At least then we get a laugh out of it.
The second half belonged to Uruguay. On 51 minutes they had a plausible penalty appeal, when Khumalo seemed to bring Suarez down in the box. It wasn't given, but soon after Lagano had a great chance for a header. He over jumped it, somehow, and it came off his shoulder and went harmlessly wide, but Uruguay were now dominant.
South Africa had one decent chance halfway through the second half. The cross came in from the right, Mphela got his head on it just before the keeper punched it, but it came off his gloved hand and wide. South Africa didn't even get a corner for it.
Soon after that it was all over. Khune gave away a penalty when he brought down Suarez as he was about to go round him and score. Everyone on the bench tried to claim it was offside, Khune insisted he hadn't touched him, but none of it mattered, and the replay showed onside, and clear contact.
Khune was sent off, and Josephs came on to try and save the penalty. Forlan looked nervous, and it was a long enough wait before he could take it, but he put it in easily enough in the end.
If that wasn't bad enough, just before the end of injury time South Africa conceded another. All the Uruguayan playmakers were in on it. Forlan crossed to Suarez on the goal line, he chipped it perfectly over the keeper and Pareira headed it home from point blank range. Soon after, the whistle went.
Poor South Africa. To progress, they now need to beat France by at least three goals, without two of their best players. Tomorrrow France play Mexico, and the winner of that probably goes through with Uruguay. The host nation could well be the first team to be knocked out of the World Cup. We feared it, we knew it was likely, and now it's almost a certainty.
Friday, 11 June 2010
France v Uruguay
France 0 - 0 Uruguay
Not a plethora of chances in this one, and frankly my notes are a little skimpy. I always mark chances with a code letter for the team who made them, in this case an F or a U, and the whole game can be summed up by the frustrated noise in the margin afterwards. FFUFFFUFFFFUFFFF, it sighed.
Which makes it sound like France dominated. They kind of did, but not convincingly, and Uruguay often moved the ball well. It was one of those games where lots of moves seemed to start well, then break down just before something you could actually write in your notes happened.
So afterwards, it's the incidental details that stand out. Why do South American national anthems always sound like Bizet played by drunks? Now the French national anthem, that's something else. The best one in my view, at least until you actually see the words. Watering your farrows with an impure blood? Fucking nationalists. I keep my blood thoroughly impurified with regular applications of gin, and it's not available for the purposes of irrigation.
The Cape Town stadium was spectacular. The BBC showed off their computer generated model before the game (are there any animators not in their employ?), but the commentator had to ruin the effect. What a setting, even better in reality than computer generated, he said. The CGI guys must have been spitting blood, and it's possibly something of a commentating faux pas to emphasise the importance of actually being there to the watching millions who can't be, but you rather suspected he was right. Unfortunately a spectacular stadium only serves to show up a shit game, as anyone who saw Bristol City v Brighton at the Millennium Stadium in 2005 can tell you.
It was all looking fine after seven minutes. Last night that is, City playoff games never look good at any point. Ribery got clear down the left, and put in a perfect ball to Govou. Who fluffed it, but it augured well.
Which just goes to show what a pile of cack augury is, because after a thoroughly enjoyable first twenty minutes they all just seemed to get bored or something. Especially the French. What the hell is wrong with them right now?
Mark Lawrenson suggested both teams shoot on sight, on the basis that the new World Cup ball was behaving strangely. As far as I could see it was just bouncing a little high, suggesting that lobbing on sight might be more effective, but the players took him at his word, and a dismal succession of efforts flew high and wide or dribbled through to the keeper. Cheers, Lawro, you dismal little golem.
Again, the little things stand out. That Sagna, he's a muscular young man, isn't he? In fact half the French team looked like their skin was struggling to contain all the beef it was being asked to hold. Not much height, but plenty of width.
With ten minutes left Lodeiro got sent off for Uruguay. Both bookings were reasonable, the second might even have been a straight red for a highly reckless tackle, but you couldn't help but feel for the guy. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone, he just got carried away. At least he was making an effort. To be fair, so was Forlan, although he narrowly missed both his big chances - one to score, the other to plant his studs firmly in Gallas' genitals. Any Uruguayan Arsenal fans watching would surely have been doubly disappointed.
It was touch and go for Uruguay from then on, but they hung on. The most dispiriting thing was the impotence of Thierry Henry. You hear people saying Dylan would have been better off dying young like Hendrix and Joplin, and you have to wonder if it's actually something of a shame Henry survived the plane ride to Barcelona. Setting aside the view on that from Dublin, it would have been nice to remember him in his Arsenal glory days. Hell, a career ending injury would have done just as well. Where's Roy Keane when you really need him?
So two draws in Group A to get us started. This may sound bland, but it's actually good for the World Cup story arc, because whatever happens in the next two games, all four teams go into the final two knowing they could qualify, but might not. So, a result, in a sense.
And watch out for a new star in the tournament. Not a footballer, but a Chinese TV reporter, as mentioned in the Guardian (Uruguay aim to keep cool). In the prematch interviews, she started out by asking Uruguayan manager Oscar Tabarez Your team got 48 yellow cards and four red cards in qualifying. Can you explain this? Tabarez tried to bluff his way through, but as you can see his comments on the subject lack a certain statistical rigour.
Later she had a shot at the controversial and dare I say it beleaguered French manager Raymond Domenech, who is leaving the job after the tournament if he hasn't had his impure blood poured into a furrow beforehand. When a frog is put in boiling water, it doesn't feel the heat until it gets too hot. How warm is the water for you now?
Half Zen master, half Jeremy Paxman. Beats Alan Shearer any day.
Tomorrow, England.
Not a plethora of chances in this one, and frankly my notes are a little skimpy. I always mark chances with a code letter for the team who made them, in this case an F or a U, and the whole game can be summed up by the frustrated noise in the margin afterwards. FFUFFFUFFFFUFFFF, it sighed.
Which makes it sound like France dominated. They kind of did, but not convincingly, and Uruguay often moved the ball well. It was one of those games where lots of moves seemed to start well, then break down just before something you could actually write in your notes happened.
So afterwards, it's the incidental details that stand out. Why do South American national anthems always sound like Bizet played by drunks? Now the French national anthem, that's something else. The best one in my view, at least until you actually see the words. Watering your farrows with an impure blood? Fucking nationalists. I keep my blood thoroughly impurified with regular applications of gin, and it's not available for the purposes of irrigation.
The Cape Town stadium was spectacular. The BBC showed off their computer generated model before the game (are there any animators not in their employ?), but the commentator had to ruin the effect. What a setting, even better in reality than computer generated, he said. The CGI guys must have been spitting blood, and it's possibly something of a commentating faux pas to emphasise the importance of actually being there to the watching millions who can't be, but you rather suspected he was right. Unfortunately a spectacular stadium only serves to show up a shit game, as anyone who saw Bristol City v Brighton at the Millennium Stadium in 2005 can tell you.
It was all looking fine after seven minutes. Last night that is, City playoff games never look good at any point. Ribery got clear down the left, and put in a perfect ball to Govou. Who fluffed it, but it augured well.
Which just goes to show what a pile of cack augury is, because after a thoroughly enjoyable first twenty minutes they all just seemed to get bored or something. Especially the French. What the hell is wrong with them right now?
Mark Lawrenson suggested both teams shoot on sight, on the basis that the new World Cup ball was behaving strangely. As far as I could see it was just bouncing a little high, suggesting that lobbing on sight might be more effective, but the players took him at his word, and a dismal succession of efforts flew high and wide or dribbled through to the keeper. Cheers, Lawro, you dismal little golem.
Again, the little things stand out. That Sagna, he's a muscular young man, isn't he? In fact half the French team looked like their skin was struggling to contain all the beef it was being asked to hold. Not much height, but plenty of width.
With ten minutes left Lodeiro got sent off for Uruguay. Both bookings were reasonable, the second might even have been a straight red for a highly reckless tackle, but you couldn't help but feel for the guy. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone, he just got carried away. At least he was making an effort. To be fair, so was Forlan, although he narrowly missed both his big chances - one to score, the other to plant his studs firmly in Gallas' genitals. Any Uruguayan Arsenal fans watching would surely have been doubly disappointed.
It was touch and go for Uruguay from then on, but they hung on. The most dispiriting thing was the impotence of Thierry Henry. You hear people saying Dylan would have been better off dying young like Hendrix and Joplin, and you have to wonder if it's actually something of a shame Henry survived the plane ride to Barcelona. Setting aside the view on that from Dublin, it would have been nice to remember him in his Arsenal glory days. Hell, a career ending injury would have done just as well. Where's Roy Keane when you really need him?
So two draws in Group A to get us started. This may sound bland, but it's actually good for the World Cup story arc, because whatever happens in the next two games, all four teams go into the final two knowing they could qualify, but might not. So, a result, in a sense.
And watch out for a new star in the tournament. Not a footballer, but a Chinese TV reporter, as mentioned in the Guardian (Uruguay aim to keep cool). In the prematch interviews, she started out by asking Uruguayan manager Oscar Tabarez Your team got 48 yellow cards and four red cards in qualifying. Can you explain this? Tabarez tried to bluff his way through, but as you can see his comments on the subject lack a certain statistical rigour.
Later she had a shot at the controversial and dare I say it beleaguered French manager Raymond Domenech, who is leaving the job after the tournament if he hasn't had his impure blood poured into a furrow beforehand. When a frog is put in boiling water, it doesn't feel the heat until it gets too hot. How warm is the water for you now?
Half Zen master, half Jeremy Paxman. Beats Alan Shearer any day.
Tomorrow, England.
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